Toxic people can be found everywhere. If you take a look at the animal kingdom you will see that there are creatures that have found different ways of defending. For example, some are strong and use their strength to attack and fight while others change colors or hide in the dark.
The scorpion, poison dart frog, and pufferfish use the toxicity they have within to defend themselves. Animals like that are rare and are fatal for their enemies without a doubt. I mentioned them because I want to do a small comparison. To be more specific, a similar ability can be seen in some humans – metaphorically.
In the same way that the snake will bite you, yes you are reading it right. Unlike the snake that does that to defend itself, toxic people do that purposely, never apologize and never take responsibility for their actions. They simply want to manipulate you and take advantage of you.
How to detect toxic people?
Instead of poisonous darts or fangs, toxic people use words as their weapons. You need to spend some time observing them and you also need to pay attention to them to perfectly spot them.
Paying attention to them will reveal tons of things about that kind of people. Look how they treat service workers, how they act in private, and how they act in public. These people also tend to talk about other people behind their backs and often deny accusations against them.
These people often play with the blame card and they are incapable of accepting responsibility for their bad behavior. They will literally go to the ends of the Earth to prove that they are right.
Let me give you an example. A toxic person or in this case partner, when accusing of cheating will admit the cheating but will add that you are responsible and that you somehow made him do it. You want another example? Your friend experienced trauma and she or he treats people badly. The justification? Well, her trauma is the reason, not her.
Toxic people refuse to change and stay in the same place for years. Some do not change at all and destroy their lives. Trying to fix them is often useless and is a waste of energy and time.
What happens when the one that you really love and appreciate is toxic?
Fortunately, there are ways in which you can help but as I said before those cases are really equal to zero. However, if you want to try take a look.
Before we start, being toxic is defined from a scientific point of view. They do not have a clinical definition and the word “toxic” is used because they are similar to the poison the snakes bear – viral and deadly. They are also named after the word “toxin” which is a substance found in our bodies. A substance that must be removed as soon as possible.
The first step – identify the toxic behavior and communicate your feelings with that person.
How to recognize someone toxic?
Self-absorbed. They are over the top with their awesomeness and they refuse to take any advice.
Emotionally manipulative behavior. Lying, denial, changing the subject, and playing on your insecurities are the green light for a toxic person.
Lack of empathy. They never express how they feel, and they often do not feel anything.
Gaslighting. This characteristic includes them playing tricks with you and your mind to make you insecure and to make you think you’re crazy.
Collecting information that could harm you. Toxic people tend to collect and keep bad information about you or someone you love just to use them afterward.
How to stay away from a toxic person?
Don’t engage in conversation – ignore them as much as you can and do not allow them to touch you
Do not let them consume you – or your energy. Remember that they drain people around them and leave people with bad energy.
If you need to be around them try to communicate as much as possible to avoid drama and inappropriate behavior or talk.
Remember that you are the most important one. You have to realize that if you do not have respect or benefit from one relationship you need to leave that relationship as soon as you can.
Do not change yourself and try to compromise.